4 Weeks Postpartum - Checking In

Yesterday officially marked four full weeks of welcoming baby Benny into our lives. Four of the shortest weeks, and also the longest at the same time. It's so strange to think back to a time when he wasn't in our lives, or being pregnant - any of that! It sounds cliché, but life before Benny was beautiful in its own way, but since he's arrived its become more of a distant memory and our new reality with a new member of the family has me feeling excited for the future.

I really want to make sure not to forget and neglect my blog along the way. Having a new baby has a way of changing everything, but I still feel like the same 'me' as before and I want to honour what is important to myself and my identity. This blog has been such a blessing in my life, and I look forward to seeing how my content evolves as I grow into different life stages.

That being said, as important as La Petite Noob has been to me, finding time to sit down and update the blog has proven to be very difficult. It's not that I don't have the time - Benny is such an incredible baby with a chill little attitude so I do have some time to myself throughout the day. It's my concentration that's the problem. Writing, which once came so easily to me, is now such a struggle. On the flip side, editing video is proving to be easier than ever. So funny how everything shifts with a new baby, even your working habits!

On the topic of shifts and changes, I thought that I would sit down and force myself to get back into writing - starting with a general life check-in and update since having Benny four weeks ago.

How I'm Feeling Physically

I'm happy to report that 4 weeks postpartum after my c-section, I'm feeling pretty great! My incision is healing nicely, I no longer wince when I have to get out of bed and the majority of my swelling has gone down. The first few days though? Brutal! Thankfully I seemed to turn a corner at day 5 and it's been slowly getting better ever since.

The one thing that's still a little strange to get used to is how soft my stomach is now - like there's literally no muscle, and it still feels kind of empty (I've read that this is a common feeling after a C section.) I'm honestly really looking forward to being able to work out again in a few more weeks so that I can build my strength back up.

How I'm Feeling Mentally

I'm so, so happy to report that my moods and headspace have seemed to normalize after dealing with some pretty heavy prenatal anxiety. I was so afraid for postpartum depression, but I feel as though a load has been taken off my shoulders since having Benny. You guys, I was experiencing some dark feelings in pregnancy - it was pretty bad. I'm so relieved to be feeling more like myself, albeit with a lot less sleep now, haha.

How We're Adjusting To A New Baby

I have to say, I'm really proud of the way that Brian and I have adjusted to having a new baby in the house. We're both older, so I worried that we would be too set in our ways and that having a huge life change thrown at us would lead to some tension. Of course it hasn't been all easy, but for the majority of the time we've been working as a team and developing a new routine to include baby Benny. In hindsight, I'm glad that we waited until we both felt like we were ready to have kids because I don't think the transition would have gone as smoothly even 3 years ago. Coupled with lots of help from friends and family, and we've been great.

Struggles

Of course, it's not all baby cuddles over here. There are a few things that I've been struggling with. The one biggest thing that has been harder than I anticipated is breastfeeding.

Now, it wasn't without warning; plenty of people warned me that breastfeeding would be hard. I just interpreted it wrong - I thought they meant that it would hurt. Turns out, it's not the physical pain thats the hardest part. For me, the challenge with breastfeeding has been developing a routine that seems to change by the hour, all while worrying if your child is getting enough to eat. There were a few days there where it felt as though I was breastfeeding every few minutes of the entire day, and Benny never seemed to be satisfied. With the help of a breast pump, and also just time, it seems to have gotten better but there is still the occasional hard day where everything changes all over again.

Another struggle that I'm embarrassed to admit, but want to address, is my relationship with my body. I'm really having a hard time getting used to the extra weight, the soft stomach and the feeling of weak muscles. In hindsight, I should have known that this would happen. While pregnant, whenever I imagined myself with baby, I saw my old self with my old body right away. Totally unrealistic I know, and it's resulted in having a hard time celebrating my postpartum body. All of my old clothes don't fit, and I feel as though I have to change my entire wardrobe again to accommodate my new weight and for breastfeeding. I'm really hoping that being cleared to workout by my doctor at six weeks will make things better and will put me in a better headspace.

That's it for me! Let me know how the first few weeks of bringing baby home went for you! What were your struggles? Let me know!

xo Joëlle

What I Actually Used In My Hospital Bag

For those of you who don't follow me on Instagram, you'll have missed that we recently welcomed our beautiful baby boy Benjamin into the world! After a scheduled turned emergency C-Section, followed by a three day hospital stay, both Brian and I (and little Benny) are all very happy to be home.

I had actually filmed a video prior to giving birth all about what I was planning on taking with me to the hospital, for both myself and baby. You guys know that I'm a light packer for all of my trips, and packing for the hospital was no exception to this - I really tried to only bring necessities as too much stuff always makes me anxious. Even with this in mind, there were still a few things that I probably didn't need to take with me, and also a few things that I under estimated just how important they would be.

Now that we're good week out from our hospital stay, giving birth to baby Benjamin and the recovery process after, I'm excited to share with you everything that I brought with me in my hospital bag and if each item was a good decision or not.

My Own Pillow from Home: YES

Bringing your own pillow from home is a total game changer the it comes to a comfortable hospital stay. I used the pillow for extra support when sleeping with my incision, and as a make-shift nursing pillow when trying to get into a groove a breast feeding baby. Brian had also brought along his own pillow, blanket and sheets for staying over with us in the hospital. Whatever you can bring from home to make sleeping at the hospital, which is a feat within itself, more comfortable - do it.

Two Litre Watter Bottle: YES

Not only are you incredibly thirsty after giving birth, but you also need to keep hydrated afterwards to help with your recovery as well as breast feeding. Because I did not want to rely on guests and nurses to help me refill my water, and I was in no position to get up and get it on my own, I'm so happy to have had my humongous two-litre water bottle with me.

Phone and Ear Pods: YES

Can we really do anything without our phones these days? Between photos, to messages, to using it as a make-shift TV to watch Netflix while late-night feeding, the phone is a game-changer. Ear pods came in handy when it was Brian's turn to sleep (we worked in shifts) and I wanted to watch a show while up nursing without disturbing him.

Wallet + Lip Balm: YES & YES

While I certainly wasn't doing much online shopping in the hospital, I needed my wallet for my ID and health card. And lip balm in the dry hospital is a game-changer.

Cloth Bag for Laundry: YES

I'm no germaphobe, but there's something about the hospital that gives me all the germy vibes. I stuck everything that wore into that bag and threw it all onto the wash (along with all sheets and blankets) the second we got home.

Indoor Slippers: YES (with modification)

I definitely was happy to have a pair of slippers to use from home for walking around, although in hindsight I should have packed disposable slippers to just discard after use (those germs again.)

Belly Binder: NO

I had originally packed my belly binder to help with my incision and to also guide my uterus to shrink, however my abdomen was way too tender in the hospital to even consider using it.

Toiletries: YES (with modification)

I was so happy to have my toothbrush, toothpaste and face wash with me during my hospital stay, but because I kept my bandages on until I was discharged, I didn't need any of the shower toiletries. I'll tell you, that first shower at home felt amazing.

Adult Diapers, Menstrual Pads and Nipple Cream: NO

Luckily the hospital provided me with more than enough supplies to manage my bleeding during my stay. Although I probably should have used the nipple cream while I was beginning to nurse in the hospital, my priority and attention was all focused on making sure Benny got adequate nutrition so I didn't even think about it.

Underwear: NO

I used and abused the high-waisted mesh underwear that they give you in the hospital. They are truly the best undergarments for healing post-birth.

Sleep shirt, Robe, Nursing Bra, Eye Mask: YES TO ALL

Although if I had it my way I would have been topless the entire hospital stay, we did have quite a few visitors so wearing PJs was definitely necessary. I was so happy to have my sleep shirt, robe and nursing bra to feel a bit more human when we had our family visiting, and the sleep mask was a huge game changer when it was my turn to get a bit of sleep in the hospital.

Makeup: YES

Call it vanity, I don't care - my second day in the hospital when we had the bulk of our visitors, I was very happy to be able to put on even the tiniest amount of makeup to feel more like myself.

Camera: NO

We were able to capture tons of beautiful photos and videos between all of our phones. The quality of phone equipment is really spectacular and it makes it so much easier to capture memories when you don't have to use a bulky camera.

Diapers, Wipes, Diaper Cream: YES

Likely because we had a private room and really didn't need any urgent assistance, we found that the nurses pretty much left us alone. This was great for getting some rest, but not ideal when you needed your change table re-stocked with diapers, wipes and diaper cream. I'm so happy that I brought along my own, and in hindsight I probably should have brought even more diapers (maybe 10) because we used every single one that I had packed.

Bath Supplies: NO

I really wanted to give little Benny a bath in the hospital, with the nurses present to help guide us. Unfortunately due to how busy the nurses were, and again with the private room and very limited checks, this didn't happen. That's okay, we all figured it out with his first bath at home!

Swaddle + Outfit: YES

While Benny was in the hospital, we mostly used their swaddles and kimonos but it was nice to dress him up and use our own for going home.

That's it! Everything that I packed in my hospital bag and if I actually used it or not. Aside from bringing a few more diapers and lots more snacks (although our families had the food situation covered) I'm really pleased with how it all turned out.

What do you guys think? Did you over or under pack for your hospital stay while giving birth? What do you wish that you had with you? Let me know!

xo Joëlle